


A World in a Grain of Sand

by Thistlerose



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, F/M, Ficlet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-06
Updated: 2017-12-06
Packaged: 2019-02-11 10:00:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12932883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thistlerose/pseuds/Thistlerose
Summary: In her final moment, what flashes before Jyn's eyes is not her life in its entirety.





	A World in a Grain of Sand

_Some are Born to sweet delight,  
Some are Born to Endless Night. _

_\- William Blake_

 

Someone in Saw Gerrera's old gang once told Jyn that, in the moment before your death, your entire life flashes in front of your eyes, like a hologram played at high speed. Jyn can't remember who said it or why, nor can she remember her response. Something coarse and dismissive, probably, because that was who she was back then - or who she wanted everyone to think she was. In the years that followed, the words came back to her every time she risked her life, and each time she would shrug and think, _Well, if this goes badly, at least I'll see my parents again._

The words come back to her now as she kneels on the shore beside Cassian, the Death Star's destructive beam dazzling her eyes and devouring her horizon. She's aware of the wet sand shifting beneath her, imagines that she can feel every grain through her trousers. She can feel Cassian's hot fingers lacing with hers, can hear his tired breaths. And in her final moment it isn't her life in its entirety that she sees; it's

Cassian telling her "Welcome home," his lips smiling, the corners of his eyes crimping briefly, though it strikes her that he still seems sad--

And Cassian leaning away from her as she goes to address their men - _her_ men, she thinks, they were waiting for _her_ leadership - and even though she's nervous - about what she has to say, about what they're about to attempt - she's aware of the shape of the space between them--

And Cassian looking down at her as she hoists herself over the edge of the data vault

And Cassian lying sprawled at the bottom of that vault, after Orson Krennic shot him -- _climb, don't think about it, just climb, please don't be dead, CLIMB_ \--

And Cassian appearing like a miracle atop the Citadel Tower, blaster in his hand, blood matting his hair, his face tight with pain

And sagging against her in the lift as they make their way back down to Scarif's surface, their mission complete. The air in the lift is hot and thick, but she's cold, and Cassian must be too because she can feel him shivering, and once more the words she wants to say crouch in her throat, but all she can do is look at him--

And then they're on the beach, and the moment is spent. They're out of time, and all the things she might have said or done with him, all the things she might have done with her life, are lost beyond recall. The only thing left for her to do is cling to him, and he clings back, and the Kyber crystal on her necklace pulses between them, like a heart or a dying star. Like a beacon calling her home. It's the last thing she feels as the Death Star obliterates her.

12/6/2017


End file.
